I never realized that this blog would touch so many people, and I'm so blessed that it has.Īs of yesterday, I am three weeks post op from my first original gastric bypass surgery. Hi guys! I quickly just want to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart for the support. ** Oh and don't forget ( Karma will bite cha in the bootyyyy) I need to remind myself, that everything happens for a reason, and it will all work itself out. It is really ironic isn't it?* ) I am blessed to be surrounded by the most wonderful, strong, incredible family and best friends in the world. Funny enough recently, someone that was dear to us said, Man plans, God laughs. You would not be reading this. I am not sure why, but EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Remember when I questioned the gastric bypass and almost didn't have surgery? Guess what? THIS. I wonder why me? I think about what my life coulda woulda shoulda. I question why I am put in the ruts that I am in. My point being, sometimes I get so bothered by arguments, and tough situations I am surrounded by. You name it, I have a name for it, and I've done it. I have shown y'all everything I have eaten. I have not been my healthiest, yet I have not gained weight. Honestly these past few weeks have been tough on me. ( THE BIG DAY *remember that?)Ĭrazy how time has flown by. and at 8:19 pm, we scheduled my appointment for Maat 7 am. I could visualize a possitive, yet scary, uneven, and windy road. There was my second chance at life, and I didn't know when else this could be a possibility. The big W and the little w, God's will and your will. Lauren looked and reminded me to trust in what my grandfather has always told her. People ask me, what were your doubts going into surgery. These thoughts flooded my mind and crowded my perception. My fears also being: "What if I can never eat normally again? What am I going to do at my wedding when I can't drink champagne? What if all of my hair really does fall out? Why can't I just be normal and eat what normal people eat? I just don't understand." I wasn't trusting in God because I was terrified of not knowing what would happen in my future. Realizing soon after that darkness is the absence of light, and fear is simply the absence of faith. Lauren Solomon, my sister, was holding me on my bed in Mexico, while I balled crying to her about how I was conflicted. I had the biggest emotional break down of my entire life. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I am feeling so many mixed emotions right now it is unbelievable.
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